You Gotta Keep Your Head Up

The past couple of days could have been better. Could have been MUCH better. Last night I didn’t sleep a wink. Not at all. I was up, staring at the ceiling and downloading silly apps on my iPhone until the sun was way way up. At this point I just decided to get up and start my day. (I have SUCH lovely bags under my eyes that seem to stretch all the way down my face.) I couldn’t sleep because I think I was just too anxious about all that’s been going on lately. I’m not trying to complain too much or say my life is terrible, but I guess the saying is true, “When it rains, it pours.” When I finally got up today I found a huge infestation of ants in our back (kitty) room. The dry cat food bowl was COVERED with ants it was so disgusting I was screaming like a little girl, I’m sure the neighbors think someone was getting killed or something, but I couldn’t help it. I spent a while spraying down all the walls in the room with the ant killer, then attempted to kill the wasps that are building a new nest our deck. DAMNIT I HATE BUGS SO MUCH.

Aside from that, there’s just the HUGE issue of my unemployment. I am SO SICK of getting rejected left and right. I didn’t realize how much it starts to get to you and make you question what you’re really good enough for. I used to be super confident in my brains and successfulness, but now it’s all starting to feel like I was just living in an illusion the whole time because no one seems to want to hire me now. I know with time God will place me in the right position where I was meant to be, but this wait is long and hard.

On top of my own crapola, the bf was passed over for a job opportunity because of an issue that was COMPLETELY out of his own control. It is so incredibly unfair, especially because he deserved this job and was oh so excited about it. I was so proud of him and all the work he was putting into applying for the position, but when it all came down to it, the next step wasn’t anything he could control. Again, I understand that everything happens for a reason so this obviously wasn’t meant to be, but it’s just so hard for me to be okay with it right now.

Although this isn’t something essential, I’m also pretty upset about the fact that this month will probably be last getting my subscription boxes (I will be pausing them) because I can no longer afford to really spend any money. Aside from my rent and other bills, I honestly haven’t been shopping or spending too much money since I’ve quit my job. Those boxes were my only fun new surprise of the month that would at least keep me happy and busy for a day of the month, taking a break from job applications and worrying about the entire process. Soooo this makes me sad :[ The main reason I have to do this this month is because this weekend I got a frickin (UNFAIR) speeding ticket. The cop pulled me AND a Harley over out of an entire lane of traffic that was going the same speed to just give us (the Harley and the Mustang) a ticket. I was warned that my car would be a huge red marker for cops, and it sucks to have it actually come true. Soooo there goes $120 to some dumb hicktown in Illinois.

I want to end things on a good note though, because although things are sucking for me right now, this weekend I did have a great time at my friend’s graduation party (Congrats Jordan!!!!), which was Blackhawks themed!! And tonight we start the next round of playoffs!! SO LET’S GO HAWKS!!!!

blackhawks everything down to the straws, umbrellas, and stirrers! :]

blackhawks everything down to the straws, umbrellas, and stirrers! :]

my heaping plate of ketchup, some brat, more ketchup, and yummy salads!

my heaping plate of ketchup, some brat, more ketchup, and yummy salads!

and there were kittaaayss everywhere!! it was heaven :]

IMG_1859 IMG_1856 IMG_1855
and on Sunday, for a special Mother’s Day treat, Michael got old.


tryna stay positive…..,

mary elyse


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